Cat Body-Language Red Flags That Scream, “Don’t Pet This Cat!”

Loving a cat means listening to what they are communicating. Sometimes, hisses, scratches, and even bites are labeled as “unpredictable,” despite warning signs being whispered or even shouted long before things escalate. A person thinks, “I would like to pet this cat.” They assume the cat is thinking (in some feline kind of way), “Excellent, I was hoping you’d say that” — when, in fact, the cat has a very different opinion. 

Cat aggression directed at people often comes from this basic misunderstanding. And those who understand cat body language have better relationships with cats and fewer problems getting along with them. Knowing how to read cat body language, from the somewhat obvious to the very subtle, helps you know when a cat is essentially saying, “Um, no, thank you — please don’t,” when it comes to petting.

Looking for and paying attention to red flags leads to fewer injuries, cats being less upset, less stress and confusion, and a happier relationship with your pet. So, what is red flag behavior in cats?

Subtle behavior cues that raise the red flag

The first thing I like to look at is the cat’s behavior, because it tells us a lot about their emotional state and interest in interacting. If a cat is not approaching you, that’s a red flag when trying to pet them. Cats who actually want interaction and physical contact will generally approach you.

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Usually, if they have no interest in rubbing their face on you — or at least on surfaces near you, such as the legs of the chair you are sitting on or the computer in your lap — you should assume they are not interested in being pet right now. Think of it this way: If a cat isn’t willingly coming to the party, you shouldn’t drag them onto the dance floor.

Some cats freeze if nervous or afraid, and an especially obvious clue to this emotional state is running away or hiding. A cat who does this is basically exhibiting one enormous red flag about petting them. Message received.

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Signals that say “Don’t Pet This Cat!”

Beyond behavior, you can spot red flags in various body parts, with clues running from head to tail.

Look at their face

• Eyes: Red flags in the eyes include rounded eyes with big, wide-open pupils, or squinty eyes at a deep angle. 

• Ears: Ears swiveled outward and back, or lying flat against their head, are another big red flag. When a cat’s ears are pinned back, this is not the time to test if they’d like a little massage.

• Nose: If a cat has nearly closed nostrils, consider that a red flag, too. Some irritated cats have a wrinkle above the nose because they are pulling up their nose and top lip. Cats exhibiting this behavior are not good candidates for petting at that moment. 

• Whiskers: Whiskers pulled low and back, possibly even flat against the cheeks, indicate that the cat is not approachable for petting. They are likely scared, anxious, threatened, or defensive.

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Tails are full of information

Tails hold a lot of clues about a cat’s emotional state, so they’re definitely worth watching when you’re trying to determine if a cat wants physical affection at the moment. Red flags based on tails include flicking their tail, a tail that is fluffed up to look larger, a tail swishing back and forth, or a tail wrapped around a curled-up body. The tail is telling you, “Not right now,” so it’s best to listen.

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Even their body posture can tell a lot

A nervous or fearful cat tends to make their body appear small. It’s common for such cats to lower their body to the ground and curl up in a ball. Often, they tuck all their body parts in close. That can mean curling their tail around their body, flattening their ears against their head, and holding their whiskers tightly against their face. 

Fearful cats often shift their weight backward with their head back, and their hind legs crouched. And if a cat’s back is arched like a typical black cat on Halloween, that’s a huge red flag. That classic silhouette is not an invitation to reach out and touch them. It’s a visible sign that the cat is likely feeling threatened and defensive, and that they would prefer some space.

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Red flags in what cats say (and how they say it)

Cats may not use words, but they certainly have plenty to say, and plenty of ways to express themselves.

• Growling: This is a low, rumbling vocalization that often serves as a response to a threat. If a cat is growling at you, they might view you as a threat, so that’s definitely a red flag when it comes to petting. 

• Hissing: This is a warning sign cats use when they feel threatened or uncomfortable with the situation or are feeling fearful. Hissing often occurs during a confrontation. It’s best to walk away from a hissing cat, and it’s never wise to pet one in this state.

• Spitting: A cat who’s spitting is in no mood for petting. Spitting is a defensive response, often triggered by something that suddenly made the cat feel threatened. It’s an explosive sound, often paired with a cat startling or lashing out with a swat.

• Yowls and howls: These are often drawn-out vocalizations that resemble an intense meow but last longer. Cats make these sounds when they are in distress, whether from physical pain, anxiety, boredom, or frustration. These sounds are not always an indication that a cat wants to be left alone, but it’s best not to pet them unless they give you undisputed signs they want your attention — which cats who are bored, anxious, or seeking comfort may do.

Vocalizations typically become louder as a cat becomes more upset. An increase in the volume of any sounds they make is a red flag that a cat is not in a happy mood, and you should not try to pet them.

Bottom line

To mellow out an irritated or aggressive cat, start by paying attention to what they are communicating to you. That means learning to identify stressed, annoyed, and/or hostile body language. Red flags (telling you not to pet a cat) show up in their behavior, body language, overall posture, and vocalizations. They are distinct from happy, relaxed cat body language. 

Ignoring a cat’s red flags can upset them, lead to aggression, and work against any relationship you are attempting to build with your cat. Consent matters in this cross-species relationship, just as it matters in all relationships.