How to Tell if Your Cat Loves You

Every cat parent has probably wondered at some point if their cat actually loves them. Unlike dogs, cats don’t typically greet us with wagging tails or slobbery kisses, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t deeply bonded with their humans. In fact, research suggests that cats are capable of forming strong emotional attachments to their caregivers. 

Feline affection might be more subtle and quirky, but once you know what to look for, you’ll start to notice the many ways your cat is quietly saying “I love you.”

In this article, we’ll explore the sweet, surprising ways cats show their love, how you can return the favor, and how adopting a cat can lead to one of the most rewarding relationships of your life.

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How do cats show affection?

Cats are often thought of as emotionally distant or only affectionate when they want something, but that’s a common misconception. In reality, many cats form deep, lasting bonds with their humans.

So, how can you tell if your cat loves you? According to Joey Lusvardi, a certified cat behavior consultant and founder of Class Act Cats, the answer lies in body language. He says cats show affection toward humans using the same signals they’d use with fellow felines they trust and care about. 

That said, there are a couple of important caveats. First, most cats need time to build trust. “Cats require a bit more reassurance that you’re safe than dogs do, but cats can develop deep affection towards us,” he says. 

Second, early experiences matter. Kittens who are gently handled and regularly socialized with people are more likely to grow into affectionate, people-oriented adult cats.

Ready to decode your cat’s feelings? Here are some of the most common ways cats show their love.

Kneading

Often called “making biscuits” or “making dough,” this rhythmic paw-pushing behavior is a throwback to kittenhood. When your cat kneads on you, it means they feel safe, content, and connected.

Rubbing against you 

Rubbing against you is your cat’s way of leaving their scent on you, Lusvardi says. While some interpret it as claiming you, it’s actually a form of scent mixing — something cats do with others they feel positively about and want to be close to, he explains. 

Purring

While cats can purr for a few different reasons, a calm, steady purr when they’re near you is usually a sign of happiness and affection.

Slow blinking

A cat’s version of a kiss, slow blinks are a sign of trust and love. If your cat blinks slowly at you, try slow blinking back — it’s a great way to say “I love you” in cat language.

Grooming you

If your cat tries to groom you, whether they’re licking your hand, arm, or hair, take it as a big compliment. In the feline world, grooming each other, known as allogrooming, is a bonding behavior between cats who trust one another. So when your cat extends this habit to you, it’s their way of saying you’re family.

Greeting you

If your cat rushes to the door when you come home or gives you a little chirp or headbutt in greeting, that’s love. They’re happy to see you.

Following you around

Whether they’re following you from room to room or keeping you company in the bathroom, a cat who chooses to stay near you is showing they value you and enjoy your presence.

Bringing you “presents”

It may not always be pleasant, but bringing you a toy (or a less desirable offering from outside) is a sign that your cat considers you part of their inner circle.

Showing their belly

A cat’s belly is one of the most vulnerable parts of their body. If they flop over and expose it to you, it’s a major sign of trust (even if they don’t always want it touched). 

Meowing

Cats typically don’t meow at each other, but they do meow at humans. If your cat “talks” to you, it’s their way of starting a conversation and trying to connect. Think of it as their version of saying, “Hey, pay attention to me.”

Headbutting

Also called “bunting,” this sweet gesture involves your cat rubbing their head against you to leave their scent. It’s a way of marking you as part of their inner circle and is one of the clearest signs of love, trust, and affection.

Spending time around you 

“Cats that spend time in close proximity to you, even if they don’t want to be petted, are showing a lot of trust and a desire to be close to you,” Lusvardi says. “Think of it as being an equivalent of having a friend who comes over just to hang out and watch TV with you: Chances are you wouldn’t want to be around them if you don’t like them.” 

This is especially true when cats sleep near you, because cats are most vulnerable when they sleep. If your cat chooses to nap next to you, or better yet, on you, that’s a huge sign of trust.

How to show love to your cat

Love is a two-way street. Showing your cat love is an important part of keeping them happy and secure. Here are some ways to show your cat how much they mean to you.

Play with your cat every day

Regular playtime helps burn energy, reduce stress, and reinforce your connection. Use wand toys to tap into their natural hunting instincts. Aim for one or two 10-minute play sessions daily.

Talk to them

Cats may not understand what you’re saying, but they definitely pick up on tone and familiar sounds. Chatting with your cat in a calm, gentle voice — even if it’s that slightly ridiculous “cat voice” most of us end up using — can help build familiarity, trust, and a stronger bond.

Respect them and their boundaries

“Respect your cat as a living, independent being that has preferences, needs, and wants,” Lusvardi says. “Cats aren’t objects, and they won’t always want to be around you or be petted.”

Understanding when your cat wants attention (and when they don’t) is a powerful form of respect. Not forcing interaction when they’re overstimulated or want to be alone helps build trust over time.

Create a safe, enriching environment

Cats feel most secure in spaces that are calm, predictable, and full of opportunities to explore. Offer cozy hiding spots, vertical spaces like cat trees, and puzzle toys to help them feel secure and keep their minds engaged. 

And don’t forget to cat-proof your house. Your cat might not realize the effort you’ve put in, but creating a safe, secure space is one of the most meaningful ways to show you care.

Groom them (if they like it)

Many cats enjoy being gently groomed. It’s a great way to reduce shedding, prevent tangles, and strengthen the bond between you and your cat.

Reward them with treats and praise

Offering a healthy treat or praise when they do something good encourages desired behavior and builds a strong bond.

Give them consistency

Cats are creatures of habit. Regular feeding times, routines, and rituals (such as bedtime cuddles or morning greetings) create a sense of stability, comfort, and trust. 

Keep their litter box clean

It may not seem glamorous, but keeping the litter box clean is a meaningful way to show your cat you care. A tidy box supports their comfort, reduces stress, and can help prevent unwanted behaviors (like doing their business elsewhere).

Commonly asked questions

Do cats know they are loved?

Cats may not understand love like humans do, but they recognize affection through your tone, care, and attention. When you treat them kindly and consistently, they associate you with safety, comfort, and companionship.

How long does it take a cat to bond with you?

Bonding can take days to months, depending on the cat’s personality and past. Social cats may warm up quickly, while shy or rescued cats might need more time. Patience, routine, and gentle interaction help build trust and connection.

What does it mean when a cat kneads you?

Kittens knead their mother’s belly to help stimulate milk flow. This comforting behavior often carries into adulthood. If your cat kneads on you, it’s a strong sign they trust you and feel relaxed in your presence.

Should I adopt a cat? 

If you’re ready for a long-term commitment and can provide a safe, loving home, adopting a cat can be incredibly rewarding. Cats offer companionship, personality, and love. Plus, you’ll be giving a deserving animal a second chance and helping reduce pet overpopulation.

References 

Blackwell, Emily. “How to Tell If Your Cat Loves You, according to Science.” Scientific American, 5 Oct. 2022, www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-to-tell-if-your-cat-loves-you-according-to-science.

Piore, Adam. “You Believe Your Cat Loves You. Now Science Has Proof.” Newsweek, 13 Sept. 2023, www.newsweek.com/2023/09/22/you-believe-your-cat-loves-you-now-science-has-proof-1826499.html.

‌‌Vitale, Kristyn R., et al. “Attachment Bonds between Domestic Cats and Humans.” Current Biology, vol. 29, no. 18, 23 Sept. 2019, pp. R864–R865, www.cell.com/current-biology/fulltext/S0960-9822(19)31086-3.