Posted over 3 years ago
| Updated over 3 years ago
I found a new home! Plenty of my friends are looking for one too. Check out other pets at this shelter, or start a new search.
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My basic info
Breed
German Shepherd Dog/Mastiff
Color
Tan/Yellow/Fawn
Age
4 years 9 months old, Young
Size
Large 61-100 lbs (28-45 kg) (when grown)
Weight
80 lbs (current)
Sex
Male
Pet ID
–
My details
Good with kids
Good with dogs
Good with cats
Needs experienced adopter
Shots current
Spayed / Neutered
Housetrained
My story
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Here's what the humans have to say about me:
Do you hate your kitchen sponges? Do you wish they would just disappear? Are you sick of your old comforter? Want it to go away? Do you have too many clothes? Would you like to easily get rid of them with no effort, no packing up and dropping off at goodwill? Tired of your old plants on the patio? THEN LOOK NO FURTHER!
BILLY MAYS HERE!
INTRODUCING THE FURRY GARBAGE DISPOSAL
HATE STUFF? IT EATS ALL YOUR STUFF
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE
Like diarrhea and vomit? THIS THING IS LOADED
*slaps hood* THIS BABY CAN FIT SO MUCH STUFF IN IT, IT'S AMAZING IT HASN'T DIED
DID IT SWALLOW TOO MUCH STUFF??
COMES WITH A FREE BOTTLE OF HYDROGEN PEROXIDE SO YOU CAN SHOVE IT DOWN IT'S THROAT. WATCH AS ALL THE STUFF THAT'S GONE MISSING MAGICALLY REAPPEARS IN A POOL OF FOAMY VOMIT
TIRED OF THE LACK OF GOOD EXORCISM SOUNDTRACKS OUT THERE? THIS THING COMES PRELOADED WITH ALL THE WORST SOUNDS YOU CAN IMAGINE
GROWLING, SCREAMING, CRYING, BARKING
IT DOES IT ALL (*only applies to play. This model does not come pre-programmed with aggression)
SCARES AWAY THE MORMONS
TOO MUCH ROOM IN YOUR BED??
PROBLEM SOLVED! IT TAKES UP THE ENTIRE BED
DO YOU WAKE UP IN A GOOD MOOD? DOES IT ANNOY YOUR FRIENDS?! THIS MODEL SOLVES THAT PROBLEM TOO! THE FIRST WORDS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH EVERY MORNING WILL BE GOD"***** CHARLIE!"
DO YOU NEED TO EXPAND YOUR CUSS WORD VOCABULARY? THIS MODEL WILL BRING OUT STRINGS OF CUSS WORDS YOU DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU HAD! IMPRESS YOUR FRIENDS WITH NEW, COLORFUL, AND EXPRESSIVE LANGUAGE!
IS YOUR HOUSE TOO CLEAN?! MAKE IT LOOK LIVED IN AGAIN! THIS MODEL WILL DIRTY A CLEAN HOUSE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY WHERE THE **** DID ALL THIS STUFF COME FROM??
GOT ANY OLD BUG BAIT LYING AROUND? DON'T THROW IT AWAY, HE'LL DISPOSE OF IT FOR YOU! IN HIS MOUTH! LIKE WE SAID, HYDROGEN PEROXIDE INCLUDED!
WANNA SAVE TIME BY USING THE CARPOOL LANE? LOOK NO FURTHER. THIS THING IS SO BIG IT LOOKS LIKE A REAL HUMAN BODY!
TOO MANY ROCKS OUTSIDE YOUR PLACE? THIS MODEL WILL BRING THEM INSIDE FOR YOU. ALL OF THEM.
IF YOU ORDER IN THE NEXT 15 MINUTES WE'LL THROW IN TRAITS SUCH AS
GOOD WITH CATS
GOOD WITH DOGS
GOOD WITH KIDS
WAITS FOR FOOD UNTIL YOU SAY OKAY
SITS WHEN YOU TELL IT SOMETIMES
NO ONE WANTS A DOG THAT IS TOO SMART. THAT'S NOT A PROBLEM WITH THIS DOG. IT'S DELIGHTFULLY DUMB!
NEED A BOOPABLE SNOOT? THIS DOGS SNOOT IS SO BOOPABLE YOU'LL ALMOST FORGET THAT THING IT DID THAT MADE YOU SO MAD!
LIKE BIG EARS? THIS DOG'S EARS ARE SO BIG THEY CAN PICK UP RADIO SIGNALS FROM FRIGGIN SPACE!
WE'LL EVEN THROW IN THE ULTRA POPULAR TRAIT OF ALWAYS COMES WHEN IT'S CALLED
LIKE SWEET DOGS? THIS DOG IS SO SWEET YOU'LL FORGIVE HIM FOR WHATEVER IT WAS BY NIGHTFALL.
COMES WITH THE CUTEST SMILE YOU'VE EVER SEEN!
CALL NOW!!! NO RETURNS! ALL SALES FINAL!
(Just kidding. We LOVE Charlie. He is the sweetest boy and very eager to please. With the right home and enough exercise, he is a perfect dog.)
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