Meet Humphrey Bogart, a puppy so offensively nice it feels suspicious. Like… are we sure he’s real? Because this man has the temperament of a golden retriever-shaped hug and the moral compass of someone who returns their shopping cart every single time. His name suggests brooding mystery, trench coats, and dramatic pauses… and what we actually got is a sentient marshmallow who believes personal space is a myth and affection is a full-time job. Is he pretty much perfect? Honestly… yes. And we hate that for everyone else, because now the bar has been set unreasonably high. Humphrey Bogart is proof that sometimes the universe just drops a flawless, golden-hearted baby into your life and says, “Good luck ever finding another dog like this again.”
Humphrey Bogart is a 4–5 month old, 54-lb male Great Pyrenees.
Yes. Fifty-four. Pounds At four months old. Please take a moment to sit with that information. This means the large, fluffy unit you see before you is merely the preview. He will, in fact, double in size. So if 54 lbs is already flirting with your upper limit, Humphrey politely asks that you keep scrolling and save everyone the heartbreak. Because while he is the biggest teddy bear you’ll ever meet, he will never understand that he is big. He does not know his “big booty” blocks doorways. He does not believe physics applies to him. He is fully convinced he fits in laps. He does not. He will try anyway. Now for the part where we sigh deeply at humanity. Humphrey came to us from the shelter, which already feels impossible given that he is essentially a living stuffed animal.
Humphrey Bogart does not meet other dogs — instead, he immediately enrolls them in a lifelong friendship contract. No warm-up period. No awkward sniff-and-decide phase. Just straight to “hi, I love you, what are we doing for the rest of our lives?” Cats? Humphrey has already proven he can coexist peacefully with the tiny, sharp-clawed overlords of the household. He stayed in the kitty room at the shelter. He treats cats like magical creatures he is honored to be near. The purrinators approve. New people? Please. Humphrey does not believe in strangers. Everyone he meets is instantly his best friend, and he would like to confirm this by giving them kisses immediately. There is no suspicion, no hesitation, no “let me think about you.” You have hands? You are friend. You exist? Also friend.
Humphrey Bogart operates at a solid 4 out of 10 on the energy scale, which, in Great Pyrenees terms, means he is not here to run marathons. He is here to vibe, supervise, and then lie down dramatically somewhere nearby. Adventure dog or homebody? Humphrey’s true passion is being wherever his people are. New things don’t scare him, the world isn’t overwhelming, and he’s impressively well-adjusted for a literal infant. He’s not reckless, not fearful — just calmly curious and happy to be included. Water play? He has not yet experienced the liquid version, but snow? Snow is elite. Five stars. Would recommend. Toys? Yes. Big fan. Temperament-wise, Humphrey is… absurdly easy. Free-roaming the house. Minimal chewing. Mostly naps, toys, and quiet happiness. He is the kind of puppy that makes you double-check if you accidentally adopted a much older dog in a baby body. Sweet, gentle, unproblematic, and offensively good. He would love a fenced space to waddle around, investigate things at his own pace, and then lie down to think about them.
Potty training with Humphrey is going… optimistically. Crate training exists. He does not love it. He does not hate it. He tolerates it the way someone tolerates a dentist waiting room — dramatic sighs, mild disappointment, but ultimately compliant. Barking-wise, Humphrey is a communicator. He likes to share his opinions, and in the car he will occasionally sing along to music like a soulful backup vocalist — until he abruptly falls asleep mid-song. It’s performance art. And here’s the honest truth: Humphrey is a giant love bug who is physically incapable of being anything but nice. He is trying so hard to do everything right. He wants to please, he wants to be good, and he wants to love you with his whole enormous body.
So here’s the deal: if you’re looking for a giant, gentle, emotionally stable teddy bear who loves everyone, tries his absolute best, and will one day double in size while still believing he belongs in your lap — Humphrey Bogart is your guy. So here’s the deal: if you’re looking for a giant, gentle, emotionally stable teddy bear who loves everyone, tries his absolute best, and will one day double in size while still believing he belongs in your lap — Humphrey Bogart is your guy. If you think you might be ready for that level of goodness (and that level of dog), go ahead and fill out an adoption application at https://www.pyrpawsandfluffytailsrescue.com/adoption-app . That’s the only way we can send your info to his foster family — psychic vibes, comments saying “INTERESTED,” and manifesting in the group unfortunately do not count.
And yes, you will need to pick him up in Midwest City, OK, because while Humphrey is many things, he is not a mail-order puppy and does not come with free shipping. Adopt Humphrey. Fall in love. Accept that your couch, your personal space, and your heart will never be the same.
