Size
(when grown) Med. 26-60 lbs (12-27 kg)
Details
Good with kids,
Not good with dogs,
Good with cats,
House-trained,
Spayed or Neutered,
Shots are up-to-date,
Story
Dear diary,
The humans have once again fed me kibble. I tell them every day I ordered farm fresh eggs, bacon, and homemade toast, but they continue to ignore my request. I have a figure to maintain, and you are what you eat. It’s bad enough they don’t have mirrors in this joint. They tell me it’s good quality kibble, but I’ve yet to get the lab results back to confirm or deny their statements.
All day I am forced to listen to my neighbors' moan and yell and carry on. As if their opinions matter. How am I supposed to practice my singing and hear myself think out loud with the chick across the room blabbering on?!?
When I’m not forced to listen to my obnoxious plebian roommates the humans force me to EXERCISE! Can you believe it! A few weeks ago, they tried to drown me in a pond, a few days later they forced me to walk until my legs LITERALLY fell off. And just the other day I was strapped to a machine called a “slatmill” it might as well be called a “Penny press” because I’m pretty sure it has changed me for the worse! Thankfully, it’s the only thing around here that seems to listen, and I was able to skillfully bribe it into not moving so I was able to evade the cursed exercise this time.
Also, can we talk about the servants, I mean volunteers, that run this place? Sure, they feed me, potty me, pet me… but never enough and they have the audacity to pay attention to the others here? I may faint if I see it happen one more time! It’s an abomination that they think the common folk need anything besides kibble and water. Also, they feed them the same kibble as me! Can you believe that? So, which is it, am I getting high quality food or not? Because they can’t possibly be handing out MY food to these dweebs!
Alas a lady shouldn’t go on too long about the woes in her life; it doesn’t do well for one’s complexion. Although I am like a princess locked up in a tower waiting for her Prince Charming (or Princess Charming ?????) I must focus on the good. So, my gratitude list is as follows…
1- I am beautiful
